The Sexuality Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to very hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To important site avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar