The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), her comment is here which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual this hyperlink destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and Discover More hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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